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Funny Newz: Did Stonehenge Suffer A Y0K Problem?

SALISBURY, ENGLAND — World-renowned scientist Dr. Frederick Diffendorfer of the Archaeological Institute for the Preservation of Pedantic Study plans to publish a groundbreaking paper this summer on Stonehenge, shortly after resolving what his legal team continues to call “an unfortunate plagiarism misunderstanding.”

The Funny Newz: Space Aliens Buying Up U.S. Beachfront Property — Officials Say Everything Is Fine

CLEARWATER, FLORIDA — Interstellar aliens are rapidly buying up U.S. real estate and business holdings at what critics are calling an alarming rate, The Funny Newz has learned.

The Funny Newz: Mojave Officials Crack Down on Cheap Alien Monuments

MOJAVE DESERT, CALIFORNIA — Adrian Covarrubias of the Mojave Desert Resource Conservation and Development Council was rattling across the desert Thursday in a government-leased Jeep Commander when he spotted yet another suspicious alien artifact on the distant horizon.

The Funny Newz: Chattering Teeth Robot Wins $1 Billion Defense Contract

BLACKSBURG, VIRGINIA — Dr. Emilio Disaronno, a one-armed senior robotics researcher at the Virginia Polytechnic School of Robotics, says the 2024 International Robotics Competition was rigged after a novelty chattering-teeth robot beat his highly advanced killing machine for a major defense contract.

CoolFilmz: Is Die Hard A Christmas Movie? Yes—It's Home Alone for Grownups

“Ho. Ho. Ho. Now I have a machine gun.”

That is not exactly the kind of line you expect from a cozy holiday classic. It is not Bing Crosby by the fireplace. It is not Jimmy Stewart rediscovering the meaning of life in Bedford Falls. It is Hans Gruber reading a message scrawled on the body of one of his henchmen after John McClane has officially begun ruining the Nakatomi Plaza Christmas party.

Bingham's Notebook: Mortimer Vanterpool’s Powers Explained

Welcome back to Bingham’s Notebook, where we explore the hidden corners of The Midas Files.

For this entry, I wanted to take a closer look at Mortimer Vanterpool, one of the strangest and most dangerous figures in The Midas Protocol. This may not be the flashiest topic for longtime readers, but clarifying Vanterpool’s abilities helps me understand how he works as a character — and how best to use him as the series continues.