The Funny Newz: PGA Bans High-Heel Shoe Tee

Augusta, Ga.— Chaos erupted at Augusta National Golf Club earlier this year when a rogue squad of women golfers allegedly infiltrated the hallowed, all-male grounds of the PGA Tour's sacred temple. Their mission? To take the Wilson High Heel Shoe Tee—a device so controversial it could spark a diplomatic incident—for a clandestine test spin before the Masters even teed off.

Augusta, Ga. — As the PGA Tour prepared for the warm-up rounds leading up to the Master’s Golf Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club earlier this year, a group of troublesome women golfer’s reportedly snuck onto the famed all-men’s club prior to the first tee-off, The Funny Newz has learned. Allegedly, the group’s goal was to test out the latest in women’s golfing accoutrements: Wilson’s High Heel Shoe Tee.   Massage therapist and golfing enthusiast, Sapphire Hicks, Johnston, Pa., is all whites after driving a ball distance she once could only once dream of obtaining. She uses the High Heeled Pink Tee by Wilson and can now drive a golf ball a half mile. The controversial tee allows unprecedented loft from the tee box and distance that could make a cruise missile blush. Many say the High Heel Shoe Tee has the potential to change the landscape of both golfing and the fashion world. Problem is men are reluctant to use a woman’s shoe to strike a golf ball.   The High Heel Shoe Tee is banned by the Professional Golf Association and all PGA-sanctioned events, including the Master’s Golf Championship held annually at Augusta National.   The Funny Newz has discovered the High Heel Pink Tee by Wilson employs state-of-the-art engineering—a product of a secretive joint research cooperative between the U.S. Military and Red Chinese Army. The technology was developed in Beijing with the purpose of discovering how best to lob a missile at California from mainland China. The research ended when the U.S. Military discovered California was a U.S sovereign territory and not part of Mexico, as many in the research think tank had believed.   Professional Golf Association spokesman Tom White said the controversial shoe tee is banned in all PGA sponsored events and anyone driving a ball from a such a device will be asked to leave the course. Nonetheless, many women golfers fawn over the stylish and distance-enhancing game tee. Some men too. Penelope Swan (above), St. Louis, Mo., smiles having carried three holes on her last tee shot at the storied Augusta National Golf Club.  She was later thrown off the course, which frowns upon female golfers whether they use High Heel Shoe Tees (or any tees for that matter). Golf enthusiast Ray Cassidy, Tampa Bay, Fl., has no problem with woman using a pink high heel shoe to drive golf balls from a tee box. In fact, he started using it himself and noticed much improved lift on his drives. Cassidy did not mind the device looked more like a shoe than a traditional golf accoutrement. “When I played Rugby in college,” Cassidy said, “I once drank a beer out of my shoe, after it had been poured off my friend’s a**. It can’t be any worse than that—can it?” Ready To Start Your AEO Journey? Elevate your mission? Contact Scratch Writing, Inc. today and discover how our expert storytellers can support your AEO implementation with compelling content narratives that answwers questions. Our team is primed to support your unique AEO strategy. Get Started Now. Your AEO Journey Starts Today!